Mix Plate, Parenting

Qualities one should look for in a man before marriage

“Marriages are settled in heaven but celebrated on earth”


👆This is what we believe in when it comes to marriage. A relation itself is a beautiful union of two people never perfect but yes, made for each other. Despite the imperfections, we usually say, their chemistry matches and this chemistry, this understanding leads to getting into a bond. Everything said till here is understandable and usual but here are few things which need to be pen down and are more important to look for in a man when deciding to marry him.

Let us first see how much have our lives changed over the years. From technology to basic needs, from food habits to games, from children’s behaviors to our emotions everything has changed. Landlines are replaced by smartphones and tabs, Computers by laptops, notebooks, internet surfing is in book reading is out. No more sending cards or letters, emails work. People are more attracted to play ludo on phones rather than on the ludo board. Just like the changes above, in eastern societies, now everyone prefers to choose his/her life partner by themselves which I personally feel is perfectly fine. In flow of emotions, they end up marrying without looking at the practical and must look for qualities in a life partner. 50% of them end up in a miserable life.

“Do not let them marry the one they have chosen.” “No, you have no right to choose a life partner.” “You can end up spoiling your life by marrying him.” These are some really rude, harsh and inappropriate comments to convince someone for not marrying particular person. However, it is always advised to help them think, ponder, evaluate and then decide what is best for them.

“There is no such cozy combination as a man and wife.” Menander


List of Qualities

  • Core Values or Family Values
  • Self Esteem & Integrity
  • Loyalty, Sincerity & Commitment
  • Respect
  • Patience

Good looks, smart, handsome are of secondary importance when it comes to marriage.

You can compromise if an eggshell is not clean but what will you do if the egg inside is rotten?

“A man is known by the company he keeps.”

English Proverb

Saying an individual reflects his family, his upbringing. Family values are the most important component of an everlasting and happy marriage. Apparently, each person you meet in life tries to impress consciously or unconsciously as this is human nature. When it comes to choosing a man for life it is prime to judge him and evaluate his family values. His relationship with his siblings and friends can reflect a part of how he regards relations. How he brings up his parents, elders in discussion reflects the type of marital bonding he has seen since birth. Parents’ mutual relation largely impacts how children take this bond.

In eastern societies it is said;

“If you want to know about a daughter, meet her mother.” Sadly, I have never heard anyone saying; “A son will be tomorrow what his father is today.”

In the beginning, even if you miss noticing like son like father details, later on, you will get to know a son has taken after a lot many traits of his father. That is the reason core values matter.

Coming to Self esteem and integrity. Generally, self esteem and integrity are confused and taken as the same. Whereas, two of them are different at many levels. Self esteemed person with revolve around “self & me”. All he knows is “my worth, myself”. Integrity, on the other hand, is believing and acting on what is right whether or not it will bring benefit to self. It is significant to find a man with integrity rather than the one with self-esteem.

There is no scale to measure loyalty, sincerity, and commitment. It is hard to judge how much a person is loyal but almost impossible to know how long will he stay sincere and committed. The key to know a part of it is to know about his family values as discussed in earlier section of article.

This one is the foundation of all relationships. Respect. Yes, respect is paramount not only for marriage but for every relationship ever existed on the face of the earth.

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Laurence Sterne

The element of respect is something that should never be compromised on. Also, do not confuse self-respect and ego. Relations turn hell if this constituent is missing. Disrespect is the root cause of many ills in a relationship. Never settle for the one who doesn’t know how to respect a woman.

This article is written to help a young lot, parents and caretakers to keep these points into consideration when looking for a match.

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